Sad Realizations

What happens when you think you know a person well, and that person turns out to be nothing like you thought?

I never thought I'd lose a friend for nothing. I mean, I've lost friends over petty disagreements before. I've lost friends over misunderstandings. But at least I lost those friendships for something, even if they were stupid reasons. But as of late, I had never lost a friend over nothing.

This particular friend gave me the friendship "pink slip" by deleting as a friend on a well-known networking site. How passive-aggressive is that?? Since being "de-friended," I have tried to call, text, and email her, to no avail. She has not responded to any of my attempts in contact. She has given me no reason for the break and seems to be holding the reason hostage. She has, however, emailed my husband to give him the benefit of knowing that "it wasn't him" that has her upset. Wow. Really? You could email my husband, but you couldn't email me. Coward. Not to mention, what jab. To email Richie knowing that he tells me everything. Knowing that he would let me read the email. Salt in a wound.

It is so hurtful that someone who you've been so open and honest, someone you really thought you knew, could so easy turn on you. Someone who claims to be a Christian, but is being so far from Christ by being so unforgiving (if, in fact, I have done something wrong...). I don't want to be that kind of person, that kind of friend. When I befriend someone, I will always give them the opportunity to explain if they have done something to offend me. I will give them the benefit of the doubt. I will love them and forgive. And to know that, if the shoe were on the other foot, if the tables were turned, this is what I would have done for her. But she could not do that for me. It goes to show how much our friendship meant to her.

It's situations like this that make me want to be ugly and hateful. To retaliate in some way. It makes me bitter and makes me wonder if it makes a difference whether or not I try to show love the way Christ shows love. But I will do it anyway. I will keep loving people as I always have, forgiving them when they fall short because I realize people are people. We all fall short. We all make mistakes. I also will not be controlled by situations like this. I actively choose love and forgiveness over bitterness. Bitterness is a root that, if allowed to grow, will take over your existence. Not me. I draw my line in the sand.